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How to Peacefully Talk About Money In Your Relationship and Marriage

Author: Leslie Cunningham

My husband and I sat down a few nights ago to talk about money. We've come to call these money meetings with each other Financial Dates®.
We started having our Dates about 7 years ago, shortly after we married. Our initial motivation was simply to get rid of our debt (we had acquired over $40,000 of debt over a three year period).
After paying off our debt we stayed committed to having our Financial Dates® in our relationship, because both of us had launched new businesses and as solo entrepreneurs we were frequently stressed out about not having enough money coming in each month to pay our bills.

Because of our commitment to showing up and consistently talking about money with each other our businesses rapidly stabilized over an incredibly short period of time. Next we tackled our goal of building up 6-months of emergency savings and funding our retirement accounts.
We realized that there is really no end to the creativity you can put in to having Financial Dates®, and the vast amount of rewards that come as a result.
In all honesty, however, I have to say that over the last year we have not been as consistent with having our Dates as we were during the first 5 years. It's interesting how stress, anxiety and a sense of impending doom was an incredible motivator to taking action and showing up for them.
Thankfully our debt is a thing of the past. And because it is, we are being given the opportunity to create a new context for inspiration for having our Financial Dates®.

Both of us were tired the other night and not very motivated to have our Date even though we had planned appropriately for it, having put a frozen pizza in the oven so we wouldn't have to spend any extra time cooking.
But after putting our 18-month old son to bed – who happened to be teething, and you Mom's and Dad's understand what THAT means! … the challenge of keeping our commitment arose.

I walked downstairs and flopped down on the coach. My husband looked at me, "Let's not have our Date tonight honey – I'm too tired!" He said. "Me too," I agreed. "But let's go ahead and make it happen, it's been months since we had one.
And if we don't do it now, when will we? We'll probably be tired at night for the next several years, so we might as well just do it!".
So we pressed onward, and I am incredibly thankful that we did! We got so much accomplished. We reached some clear decisions about our work schedule's, our son's nanny care and we had a great conversation about significantly increasing income in our businesses.

When we finished our Financial Date® my husband turned to me and said, "That was an awesome Date – I'm so glad we persevered!" We went to bed that night and cuddled up with each other feeling a sense of renewed connection, accomplishment and a deep satisfaction of working together as a team.
I feel incredibly grateful for our Financial Dates® and the deep sense of financial peace, money collaboration and conscious partnership it has brought to our marriage and relationship.

What's it like for you when you talk about money with your spouse? Do you have a lot of tension and stress or have you found a way to get on the same financial page with each other? I'd love to hear about YOUR experiences! Click here to take a few quick seconds and share your thoughts! I'd love to hear from you! Your comments give readers invaluable inspiration and support. Not only that but your posts let me know that these articles are making a difference.
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